Consider this fair warning: I am sick to death of emailed quizzes promising to reveal my entire personality with a few simple questions. The next person who sends me a quiz will receive a lethal virus with my reply, one that will send The Collected Writings of Walter Cronkhite to every one of their Outlook contacts and inundate their mother with lewd messages from The Juiceman and naked pictures of Richard Simmons. I'm not messing around here.